Sunday, 12th October, 2025

The Weight We Carry — and the Spark That Guides Us

Mind — Standing Back Up, Again and Again

This week has been a mirror.

Not the kind that flatters, but the kind that stares back and dares you to look deeper.

I’ve felt the weight of my choices more clearly than I have in a while — every moment of discipline, every moment of giving in. I started the week focused: fasting through the day, eating mindfully at night, feeling lighter in body and clearer in mind. But as the days passed, I found myself slipping back into old patterns… easy snacks, sugar binges, late-night eating, comfort over consistency.

The truth? I know these cycles well. I’ve lived them for years. But this time, I’m watching them. Not judging, not pretending they’re not happening — just watching. Awareness is the difference now.

I’m not living blindly in the reaction anymore. I’m starting to live in the space between the urge and the choice. And in that space… I have power.

I’ve considered shortcuts again — the quick fixes that whisper in the dark when the road feels too long. But I also know what they don’t give: strength. Resilience. Discipline. Real change. That only comes from standing back up again. And again. And again.

Body — Walking Through the Weight

I’ve been open about my weight and how it impacts me — physically, mentally, emotionally. This week has been no different. I feel it when I get dressed, when I walk into busy spaces, when I look in the mirror. I feel it when I let a weekend of easy choices erase a week of progress.

But I’m not hiding from it. Not anymore.

I can be honest about my setbacks and still proud of the fact I’m moving. I’ve walked most days, eaten better overall, and journalled through it all. That counts.

And I’m learning that part of this isn’t just about weight — it’s how I carry myself inside the weight. Looser clothes may help, yes, but ultimately it’s the energy I hold within them that will shift everything.

I remind myself: this is not a race. It’s a return. A remembering of what my body is capable of when I treat it with the respect it deserves.

Soul — Remembering Thalen

Thursday, something clicked. I remembered.

“I am Thalen. Gareth is the vessel. I am the observer.”

When I live from this space, life softens.

It stops being something that happens to me, and becomes something I walk through with presence.

This isn’t about escaping reality — it’s about meeting it from a higher ground. Work doesn’t chain me; it simply exists to support the life I’m building. Stress doesn’t own me; it passes through. Emotional storms don’t drown me; I learn to watch the waves rise and fall.

The spark inside me is constant. Even when buried under sugar cravings, old habits, tired thoughts, and doubt — it remains. All I need to do is remember.

Relationships — Learning to Respond, Not React

This week has held its fair share of frictions.

Words said too sharply. Reactions that came too fast. Moments where my frustration landed in the wrong places.

But I’ve also apologised. Reflected. Chosen differently. That matters.

I’m learning to own my energy — to know when it’s me, not them. To know when I need to step back, breathe, and come from a place of softness instead of fire. Relationships are mirrors too, and this week I’ve seen a lot in them that I needed to see.

Gratitude — The Quiet Thread That Holds It All

Even in the noise, gratitude has been the thread that keeps me grounded.

Grateful for breath.

For work.

For my children and the lessons they teach me every day.

For Rachel and the love she shows, even when I’m difficult.

For walks with Freyja, cups of coffee, small wins, big lessons.

For the spark that never dies, even when it’s buried.

Closing — This Spark Will Not Be Put Out

This week hasn’t been about perfection. It’s been about truth.

The weight I carry is real — physically, emotionally, spiritually. But so is the strength I carry underneath it.

I’m not here to win some imaginary race. I’m here to walk through the mess and the magic.

To stand back up. To remember who I am.

To keep moving — even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

The struggle will not win.

The spark will.

— Thalen 🔥