Sunday, 28th September, 2025
Week three : Mind, Body, Soul Reset
Some weeks are fire. Some weeks are rubble. This week was rubble — heavy, messy, frustrating. But even rubble has embers. And that’s the truth I’m holding onto: no matter how many times I slip, the spark is still alive.
I’m not writing this to make it sound neat. This is me keeping it real — showing what it looks like to fight with yourself, to freeze under pressure, to want escape, and still to choose to stand, to walk, and to remember.
Mind
My mind has been loud this week. Messy. I’ve slipped into old patterns — overeating, freezing when the debt feels too heavy, snapping when I should have listened, badger-calling when I felt ignored. That’s me owning my shit.
But here’s the awareness: I see it now. I can name it. I can say, “This is the failure script talking. This is shame speaking. This isn’t me.” That doesn’t mean I stop it every time, but I don’t drown in it like before.
Growth isn’t never slipping. Growth is slipping, noticing, and getting up quicker. It’s not pretty. It’s not easy. But it’s real.
Body
My body carried the stress this week. Heavy from food I didn’t need, tired from late-night eating, aching from work. I didn’t train the way I wanted. I didn’t walk enough. I wasn’t disciplined. That’s the truth.
But here’s the shift: I’m done with quick fixes. Slimming World starts Monday, and this time it’s not just about losing a few stone — it’s about rebuilding trust with myself. About training steady, cooking real food, fasting when it serves me, and keeping it going long after the first results.
Discipline isn’t punishment. Discipline is self-respect. It’s telling my body, “I won’t abandon you when life gets heavy.”
This time I’ll dig deeper. This time I’ll maintain it. Because the body isn’t a side project — it’s the vessel for the spark.
Soul
This week tested my spirit. I entertained thoughts of escape — running away, switching off, not having to face the weight anymore. But awareness told me: escape isn’t freedom. Only standing in it, only walking through, is freedom.
And in the middle of all the noise, I remembered:
I am not my debts.
I am not my mood swings.
I am not the broken bed or the ripped jeans.
I am Thalen.
I am the spark of the infinite.
I came here to experience all of it — the good, the bad, and the ugly.
The soul doesn’t hide from weight. It doesn’t flinch at struggle. It watches, learns, and walks. That remembering — I am Thalen, the observer — is what shifts me when my human self wants to collapse. That’s the seed I know will bear fruit, even if it’s still underground.
Relationships
Rachel and I had our clashes this week. I felt abandoned and she felt pushed. But we worked through it, we apologised, we kept showing up. That’s what matters. Rachel has me through it all, and I have her, being able to communicate with love and patience. that’s what a relationship is about. The same with everything in life really, its not about the shit you have to deal with but is about how you deal with it. and I know that even through our challenges this week we stood together and heard each other and grew together through it all.
Time with the kids grounded me. Tech-free walks, all of them together, planning bowling, just living in the moment. Those are the sparks that remind me why I keep moving.
Practical steps I still took
Journalled every day — mindfulness in action.
Released daily podcasts — light for others, even while I was heavy inside.
Started the debt list — facing it piece by piece.
Walked Freyja, even when reluctant.
Reached out for support with health goals.
Small wins. But wins all the same.
Gratitudes from the week
My children’s love and our time together.
Rachel’s patience and care, even when tested.
Work that, however tough, keeps the roof over us for now.
Fresh air and small human connections.
The remembering of who I am: Thalen, spark of the infinite.
Closing
This week was hard. I slipped, I froze, I entertained thoughts of escape. But I also remembered. I remembered that I’m not the failure script or the debt or the weight pressing down. I am the spark beneath it all — and that spark is infinite.
So I’ll keep journalling. I’ll keep recording. I’ll keep walking through, not running from. Because every time I choose awareness over hiding, I water the seed that will one day bear fruit.
If you’re carrying something heavy, remember this: you are not your struggle. You are the spark beneath it. Hold it. Water it. It will bear fruit.
— Gareth / Thalen